Taking the Pizza out of the Queen’s Jubilee

I’m sure that there will be a lot of bad taste trying to cash in on the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee but M&S have already lowered the bar significantly. As part of a range of products to celebrate the occasion with a Best of British theme they are launching ‘The Great British Breakfast Pizza.’

Apart from being as British & authentic as Chicken Tikka Masala, pizza must be one of the most abused foodstuffs on the planet. Just because it is conveniently shaped to have all manner of ingredients heaped upon it does not mean doing so at a whim is a good idea.

My ideal pizza has a light crispy base with a few, distinct ingredients on top. As the ingredients become more complicated and heavier the base has to become more robust and stodgier to hold up. The resultant ‘brick’ loses all appeal unless you are someone who is looking to consume the highest number of calories in a sitting. If that is what you are after then why not just go the Scottish route and deep fry the thing.

Jamie Oliver is a prime offender with his Union Jack’s restaurant where wood fired flatbreads meet great Britsh flavours -Fish Pie Pizza anyone?

Other countries have also added their own slant to the classic Italian dish:

·         India - pickled ginger, minced mutton, and paneer

·         Russia - mockba (a combination of sardines, tuna, mackerel, salmon, and onions),

·         Brazil - green peas

·         Australia - shrimp, pineapple, barbecue sauce

·         Japan - eel, squid, and Mayo Jaga (mayonnaise with potato & bacon)

Widely available already in Britain are pizzas with Chinese, Mexican and Indian toppings but Iceland’s (the chain, not the country) Donner Kebab pizza cannot be aimed at either a sane or sober audience.

Finally, back to the M&S tribute to her Majesty. The icing on the cake, as it were, must be the sachet of brown sauce that comes with it.