Tweet your way off marketing lists

Slightly off message, but here we go.....

Tweet your way off marketing lists

As Google gets all the more pervasive & what we put online gets sold to the highest bidder here are some suggestions to tweet/facebook/blog to get you off the marketing lists:

Called to God, joining a silent order.

My power of attorney goes to (email of someone that deserves your spam)

My committal hearing is not going well, I may not be available for a while.

Farewell cruel world.

Won Euromillions, please contact me only via my lawyer .

My penis is too big, I need a reduction.

Doctor gave me three weeks to live, 20 days ago. Not feeling so good.

Didn’t realise that jury nobbling actually added to your sentence. Might be away for a while.

Hacked into Twitter/Google/FaceBook accounts, News of the World thought they had problems!!!!

If anyone else tries to sell something to my dead husband/wife I will accept the product as a gift in their memory.

My brother the dodgy pharmacologist, supplies all my needs.

Please deal direct with my relative Mr V Big, The President, Government Representative, Mucho Money Bank, Abuja, Nigeria. Who has access to all my bank account details.

Sueing Twitter/Google/FaceBook for invasion of privacy is even better than PPI, you didn’t even have to pay the money up-front.

My spam filter finds your ‘freepost’ address and is connected to my waste disposal.

My account automatically replies to spam with a copy of suggested terrorist targets & bomb making diagrams which will bury itself in your hard drive & any portable drives & will then email them to your client list.

I didn’t realise you cared, I’ve been watching you for weeks, I’ll upload my photos of you, might take a while.

Congratulations, you are the 9 billionth person to access these details.  

Please feel free to add.